I hate your face
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
