Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
