Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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