I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The air was thick with penises
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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