We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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