just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
