I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
