drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
