i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
