Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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