We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
