My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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