when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
