I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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