Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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