I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Are we still banned from the library?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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