what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
