What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
How naked do you want me to be?
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