I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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