You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
