I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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