probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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