it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
