my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
