I wish I could punch you in the face.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
