After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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