They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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