yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
