youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
