Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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