I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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