My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
