I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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