you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
