Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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