how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
