i was born a porn star she said
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
my god I love twenty year old dicks
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
