You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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