I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
