We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
