You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
