I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
