just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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