please come you make the beer taste better
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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