Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
