we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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