I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
