They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
