I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
