I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
