he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
