I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
